Hair, As Applied to Cooking Techniques

It’s a good thing the only clients they’re letting me see are the good sports who know the situation. I don’t know anything about hair, salons, styling, curlers, blow dryers, dyeing and those helmet things that look like something out of Space Track. And yet, here I am. Participating in a piece of rubbish television for recognition and cash.

I did like the concept, though. A top chef (that’s me) and a top hairdresser swap places for a week, with the former (still me) setting up a temporary hair salon and the hairdresser setting up a temporary restaurant, all the hilarious results recorded. I was allowed to sort of… ‘intern’ in a hair salon in the Melbourne CBD for a week, which basically just means I sat there for a few hours each day and tried to note down what they were doing. The overarching idea of the show is to see how many skills transfer between hairdressing and cooking, with my preliminary answer being ‘not many’. I can cook anything you care to mention, but I must’ve watched them blow-dry a client’s hair a thousand times and I still can’t replicate the casual expertise. It’s like, a…flip, wrist flourish, wiggling of the fingers to separate the hair strands…but it looks a lot better. It’s all in my notes, anyway.

I don’t think I’ve totally ruined all my clients. They all came in with a spirit of fun, to find out what the chef can do with their hair, and they mostly left with cuts that could do with a bit of a tidy up. I also dyed a lady’s ear red by accident…still guilty about that one.

In the end, I think that award winning hair salons should be left to their own work, and the top chefs should be the same, and we’ll keep offering top quality service without burned scallops or dyed ears. That’s what I’m going to say in my post-show interview, anyway.